Happiness is a widely promoted ideal in our modern world. As a father of two young boys approaching adulthood, I feel I have to share my thoughts and let them know what I think of it. My goal for this site is to write its content as if I'm addressing my sons.
Today, there is so much emphasis on happiness that a World Happiness Report (WHR) appeared in 2012 and every year after that. I believe happiness is a state of mind—you can be happy with a lot or with very little. People's interpretations of happiness vary; some link it to achievements like a promotion or romantic success, while others find joy in the beauty of specific moments.
To me, happiness as a state of mind means being at peace. I find joy in various moments, such as spending time with friends and family, the birth of my children, and career accomplishments. These moments bring a fleeting sense of contentment and peace, which is why I don't rely on events to make me happy. Ultimately, I see happiness as the absence of stress, anxiety, and worry; as long as I am free from these, I am truly happy.
To maintain my happiness, I focus on five key areas of my life, which I call my pillars. These pillars bring peace of mind and give my life purpose:
1. Spirituality: This involves believing in a higher power. Throughout history, people have believed in gods and goddesses to explain the unexplained. This belief provides a sense of comfort and understanding.
2. Family: To me, the unit is more important than the individual, and family is crucial for children to grow into well-adjusted adults. Regardless of whether our families are ideal, they provide a framework for what we want or don’t want in our own lives. If we come from challenging family backgrounds, we should strive to do better for our own families.
3. Community/Nature: Just as mother trees nurture their seedlings through intricate networks and heroic animals take action to save human lives, we must recognize the vital importance of our communities and the natural world. Nature and its remarkable creatures illustrate the interconnectedness of all life, emphasizing the need to care for everything living and treat it as an integral part of our communities.
4. Health: Taking care of our health is crucial. Even if we lack belief in a higher power or have limited social connections, poor health is a power force that makes us consider what happiness is. Health issues often lead us to repair our relationships with others, and look at the world differently as a way to get to true happiness in these circumstances.
5. Finances: Financial wellness is important because it impacts various aspects of our lives. Understanding the balance between income and expenses is crucial. Financial stress can undermine peace, especially when supporting a family.
In my view, happiness is not about chasing the next high; that's too much pressure. Happiness is about the state of mind—whether it’s at peace or not. My five pillars are central to this. They are interrelated, and each should be given equal attention. Overemphasizing one pillar, such as finances, at the expense of health, can lead to imbalance.
Continuously working on these five pillars is essential for maintaining a happy state of mind. Happiness should be seen as a continual work in progress throughout our lives. No one achieves a permanent state of happiness. Neglecting any of the pillars in favor of one area, like a promotion or romantic relationship, sets us up for disappointment. If one area fails, our other relationships and pillars should support us. Balance your time and attention among these five areas to maintain a well-rounded and fulfilling life.